My MIL literally showed me and my SO her vagina, AND PATTED IT!!!
Okay, you guys I’m sorry this is so long and the formatting is messed up, this is my first time writing on Reddit, but PLEASE strap on with ya girl through this rollercoaster of my SO’s family, I just need an ear to vent to for a while. So I’m a 22yo Black American and my SO is a 27yo Nigerian who’s been in America for a going on 6 years now. We’ve been knowing each other maybe 4 years but we’ve only been together for 2, because I moved away for college to California (my home state) from Houston (my mom is a traveling nurse so I use to move around all the time as a kid.) But throughout this time, we always talked, even argued a bit but he was always “the one that got away” for me. So during this time we both got into shitty relationships that caused us to both look at ourselves, take accountability where it was needed and grow from the situation. Maybe 6 months after my relationship with my ex, my SO calls me and we get back talking and he flies my out to meet him, and the rest has been history. I left school on my third year and became a housewife for my SO (he’s a traveling wind turbine technician, so yeah I’m still everywhere.) So here’s where shit gets real. So keep in mind how I told you he was Nigerian and I was Black American (apparently 2 different races) Yeah so, his mom met me for the first time, this lady was exceptionally nice, I felt like we even bonded over the fact that we freaking look alike. I mean if we were to go to outside of her house together people would just believe that she was my mom, not the other way around. So we meet this first time (this was like 2 years ago so strap in baby, I’m about to give you the full jist) and I personally believed things went great until maybe a few weeks after that, her and my SO have an argument and she tells him that I’m going to trap him into being a baby father because I’m an Akata (Akata = Africans slur towards black Americans) (SN: If this heifer would have even TRIED to get to know me she would know I don’t even want no damn kids, UGH) But she says all this and my SO takes up for me then hangs up on her, not even a week later this horrible retched human being calls and just acts like nothing happened. My SO was just like whatever cause at this point every time they would get on the phone they would argue so he didn’t want to feel like the person constantly bringing the static. So we were paying their rent ($1890) while his mom was going to school to be a nurse, (she’s 64) under the stipulation that this would stop as soon as she got a job. So she got a job, told us we didn’t have to worry about paying the rent anymore, then called us 2 freaking days before their rent was do to tell us she couldn’t afford it. So we paid it again, and this went on for 5 months after. Until my SO just told her no more. After we paid her rent for the last time, we told her it was the last time and she would need to figure herself out. I mean she has a husband that doesn’t work, he takes her money and spends it on stocks and forex, he will win a little but the will loose everything EVERY FREAKING TIME and this lady still gives him her money. Okay so the second time I went over was after being called a baby mama but before we stopped paying the rent, and I am just like it’s my SO family I’m going to try and show them me, and let them see who I am. But literally on our way to his house his older sister, who I hadn’t met before this, calls and tells him that we shouldn’t stay at his house because we’re not married. So we say whatever to that even though we were paying rent, and we bought a hotel. So once we get to Houston we go to the hotel and then his mom calls and asks where we are and my SO tells her we came to a hotel because of what his sister said. Then his mom tells his is sister doesn’t run nothing so come there, he tries to be like no it’s fine we’ll stay here to keep the peace, this lady literally breaks down crying so my SO is like okay okay we’ll go, so the next day we went, and went we fucking did. Literally as soon as we walked in and got the pleasantries over and then sit down to eat lunch, they began talking shit about this other family that moved from Nigeria to California but couldn’t stay there because it was too expensive and they had to move to Houston. They were saying things like the other family is stupid, they should be able to stay anywhere “I mean it’s America”, how could they not afford their rent (while me and my SO are paying their rent), things like that. So being from California myself I took it upon myself to take up for this other family and explain to his family that staying in California is ALOT different from staying in Houston, from gas prices to rent prices to even cleanliness, it’s a whole different space. So from me saying that his sister began to straight up argue with me about this, she was speaking over me, not letting me finish, everything I hate in an argument and the whole time I sat their and tried to get my point across as best I could without being the loud ghetto black girl, and I applaud myself for this because MY OWN FAMILY don’t even speak to me the way his family has. (I’m literally shaking as I’m writing this OMG I HATE THESE PEOPLE) His sister was saying things like, she can’t stay in a place in CALIFORNIA where people in her apartment building are sagging, she would go to the mid level worker, IN FUCKING CALIFORNIA, and figure out what they do to make it and she would still be there chugging on along. Even after I tried to explain to this girl over and over again that’s not how life works, especially not in California, she still didn’t get it, so my SO just calmed the situation and we went up to his room. After a couple of minutes I left outta his room to go to the restroom and this same bitch that I just met for the first time and got yelled at by over shit she didn’t even know about, who also told my SO that I shouldn’t go to their family house because we’re not married, she asks me if I’m comfortable there. In order to hold myself from cussing her the fuck out. I literally just look at her and kept walking to the bathroom. So on the same trip, one of his mother’s older friends came over (to get FOR FREE NOW my SO old fucked up car because she didn’t have one) and we were cleaning the kitchen because we had a little pressure cooker mishap, so my SO was doing something and this lady was talking to her sons in their language and then says Akata to her sons, I didn’t think anything of it I’m just like whatever she not be talking about me. But as she was leaving this lady gave me the deadliest look, so hard my SO was like okay bye now to get her attention off of me, cause I just smiled at her, (old bitter bitches can’t break my happiness.) So after they leave my SO is like WTF was that and I told him how I also heard her say Akata and he’s pretty pissed I didn’t say anything while she was there, but was like whatever I will tell my mom. We tell his mom, and she is just like, no I don’t believe she would do that, and just left it at that. Yeah so that was my last time going there for a long while. During me not going my SO didn’t go either because this man would legit loose his head if I didn’t always keep it in purse. This is when we stopped paying the rent and the arguments started as well. (SN: We smoke marijuana and that’s a problem for his family as well (he smoked weed before we even met), his family LITERALLY have called us druggies on multiple occasions, while still asking us for money. What kind of druggies would you ask for money?) So yeah now I have caught up to year 20 fucking 20. During our hiatus from Houston, my SO was keeping in small contact with his family and I have always kept in contact with his little sister, she would call me and we would literally be on the phone for hours but that slowed up a lot and and so did his family from telling us their hardships, so in our minds everything was chill, they were learning we have our own minds and way of living and they were becoming okay with it. THE FUCKING LIES I THOUGHT. Nope the whole time they were just talking shit about us behind our backs and then come and ask us for shit. CRAY. So my SO has stuff that we just left at her house because he is a traveling wind turbine technician and we literally just didn’t have anywhere to put them, he had another car in her garage and we had like clothes and just things from other apartments and places we’ve been and we just couldn’t keep taking it around with us. So his mom said something about them moving houses and us having to come and get our stuff. Totally fine so we make plans and literally the next weekend we’re there grabbing our stuff. When we get there his mom then tells him there not gonna move so he can keep stuff there, so we’re like whatever because we were already having problems with the storages, so we just took his little sister driving and then I went shopping while they stayed back in the hotel to play VR and talk. I wasn’t there for this talk but from what my SO told me, his little sister was mad about the way he speaks to his mom, she was telling him her health is bad so he shouldn’t be yelling at her and all of this other stuff and he replied with something to the effect of if she’s doing fucked up things in front of y’all, why is no one else yelling. (I haven’t said what they have been arguing about because it’s a lot of different BS but it always has something to do with his mom chasing money and forgetting logic.) But they have a whole conversation about it or whatever and he tells me that his little sister was agreeing with what he was saying and everything. But the next day when we went to his house to grab our stuff, we realize it’s the complete opposite. I didn’t go in with him first off because I went shopping the day before and I had HELLA bags and shit the back of our truck so I had to move stuff around and make it neat so we could add the stuff from the house. During this time, unbeknownst to me, his little sister and mom are in the back arguing to my SO about who? ME! Saying things like I’m low class, dirty, I didn’t know how to pronounce the name of my university (?????), and that I have no ambition because I don’t have a job. They also talk about us smoking weed and then his little sister (16f) asked my SO what are your 10 year goals. Like WHAT?!?!?!? So after I finish moving all of this stuff I go into the house and the “daddy” then tells me to go to the back room cause that’s where everyone is. I had no idea what was going on and as soon as I walked inside of the room everyone stopped and looked at me. I could tell me SO was pissed but I thought their conversation was about what him and his little sister were talking about the night prior. So when I walk in his mom begins saying her greeting and then complimenting me on my clothes and I then told her how I sewed them myself because I learned how to sew recently, (this whole no ambition thing really fucks me up because I literally know so many skills, I don’t have to pay anyone to do anything for me, from my hair to my fucking acrylics to building furniture, it’s really fucking asinine to me.) So after all of the pleasantries are done, my SO begins helping his dad move stuff around and his mom begins to talk to me about smoking weed. At this point, I was still on the let me respect this old bitch level not knowing what was said about me seconds before. So I let her go on and on, with just a few things where I was like wait but that’s not right and then she would then go on and on on how it was right, when all of her explanations were stupid, and to just keep the peace I just kept saying yes ma’am, okay, all of that. When I say dumb shit I mean dumb shit she was telling me how we shouldn’t be eating out all of the time, when the only time we eat out is when we’re in Houston because knowing that I’m vegetarian they still cook everything with meat so I have to go buy food,which is fine, but don’t then hold it against me you insane crazy crazy bitch. She was even talking shit about my SO about how he is like the bad child, when his brother literally smokes weed too but he’s just too much of a pussy to say anything. So finally we leave, and then my SO tells me about all of this, it’s a 7 hour drive back to where he is stationed and the WHOLE drive I was yelling, I literally lost my voice. So at this point, I am just like fuck it, I need to state my peace. Again I will tell y’all MY OWN FAMILY knows better!!! I can’t allow somebody else’s family to treat me nor my man no type of way. Not at all. So two weeks later (literally last weekend) we go back to Houston once and for all to get all of our shit, move his car and cuss them the fuck out. So when we get to his house we just get busy getting out shit cause him mom wasn’t getting off work until the next day. So we get the stuff and come back the next day and here is again where shit gets the mostest realest OMG!!!! OMG!!! So we get there right before they’re leaving for church, give them little pleasantries or whatever and then we get down to business, my SO started then tossed the mic to me, so I begin VERY VERY calm and started to tell her how my SO told me what they have been saying and I don’t believe it’s right for them to just make assumptions about me without knowing me. This insane crazy bitch, tells me she doesn’t care about me because I’m not her child or her concern. And I say well why have you been talking about me. This woman says she doesn’t remember saying anything and for ME to tell her what she has said. So I was like well for starters you said I was going to make my SO into a baby father. She says, I don’t remember that, and after both my SO and I say YES YOU DID. She says Well it’s true.... (WTFFFFFFF I DONT HAVE CHILDREN I SWEAR I DO NOT HAVE A CHIL) At this point all calm is out, I’m yelling BITCH I DONT HAVE NO KIDS CRAZY, and I also begin walking toward her, now I’m not gonna hit this old ass bitch I just wanna yell in her face a little. And she starts saying oh are you gonna hit me and all of this and by this time I feel like I blacked out because I honestly have no idea what I was saying but I know I called her an old dumb bitch multiple times. But my SO comes in as I’m walking up to her and calms me down so I shut my lips and just let him go in. She was talking shit about me not having a job, he started talking about her husband, his dad, RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM, calling him a deadbeat because he doesn’t have a job and literally doesn’t do shit and he wastes her money while I save my SO money. His dad literally didn’t do shit. His mom said she was gonna call the police my SO said he will call immigration (his daddy have literally been in this country illegally for over 10 years and she mad that we smoking weed, the fucking nerve.) So through all of my SO yelling and stuff we moved locations into the entryway and she’s telling us to get out but my SO is getting out everything that he’s been feeling. In the fucking mist of them arguing, she’s yelling as well, she begins to pull down her fucking panties (I am just a bystander at this point and I’m listening to the argument and once the panties began coming off, I swear to GOD it was was like a fucking car crash, I couldn’t look away. My brain was trying it’s fucking damnedest to make sense out of fucking nonsense.) This woman strips out of her fucking panties, lays flat backed on the fucking ground and spread fucking eagle shows me and my SO her puss. She literally starts smacking her puss while yelling to my SO that he came out of there. YAAAALLLLLL!!!! In all of this my SO is still yelling, he just turns his head to the side to where he can’t see her and just keeps going. After about 5 more minutes of her standing up then laying back down to show puss, I just told my SO let’s go and we walked out, with her yelling at ME, not to come back to her house. The next day his sister calls him and says their mom said he took me over their house to fight her, she even tells his sister that she showed us her puss, and his sister calls him asks him what happened and he starts telling her and she says well you are a druggie, nothing about the old bitch pussy popping for her son and his girlfriend. He hangs up in her face once she made the druggie comment cause honestly you’re insane if you’re mad at your brother for smoking a little weed but not your mom for popping pussy. These are just tips of the iceberg moments, not even everything I have went through in these SMALL 2 years. I don’t know how to finish this up other than, just pray for me and my SO.
[Guide] Hal-hal esensial yang wajib dimiliki mahasiswa.
Selamat pagi! Salam mahasiswa! Terinspirasi dari komen-komen di thread gua sebelumnya, gua ingin compile beberapa must-have tools, stuff, and websites untuk kalian yang baru saja jadi mahasiswa atau sedang menjalani studi. Gue akan memisahkan ke beberapa kategori, yaitu Wajib Punya, Wajib Punya Untuk Anak [Jurusan], Boleh Punya, Cukup Tau, dan Jangan Pernah Sentuh. Dalam kategori tersebut akan diisi dengan kombinasi apps, website, dan alat-alat fisik. Untuk yang bersifat bajakan, sorry to say gua gak akan link di sini, kecuali Sci Hub atau Gen Lib. Bagi redditor yang bukan anak psikologi, tolong bantuin gua ya dengan comment berisi suggestion kalian.
WhatsApp, LINE, dan sometimes Telegram. : Ya menurut lo aja deh, hari gini masih SMS?
Flash drive : Get an 8GB stick, walaupun sekarang udah serba digital, kadang dosen masih minta print-out tugas. Plus, tukang fotokopi pasti sibuk dan gak ada waktu buka e-mail (walaupun ada), akan lebih praktis kalau data yang mau lo print atau submit pindahin dulu ke sini. Side note : Untuk anak DKV, Arsitektur, Desain Produk, Musik, dan Film, sepertinya kalian wajib beli external hard-drive minimal 500GB. Kalau bisa SSD ya, biar file terus protected (tapi agak mahal).
Google Drivedan isinya (Sheets, Docs, Draw, Slides) : Lo akan mobile for most of your campus life, GDrive gunanya bukan hanya sebagai backup tapi sebagai base of operations dari perkuliahan lo. Separate folders into semesters, lalu di dalamnya bikin folder per matkul, dan di dalamnya pun ada folder buku, tugas, class notes, and etc.
Google Calendar : Start planning through this app. Its highly underrated and I suggest you take time and learn how GCal works. Most people only use this after they started working, getting a head start is always better.
Mendeleyatau reference manager lain : Lu akan menghabiskan waktu 4 tahun baca artikel ilmiah, kadang mereka suka aneh formatting filenya kalo di-download dan mereka udah pasti gak appealing untuk di-save di laptop. Mendeley cuts off all of the problems and puts all of your references in one place. (Available on desktop and mobile)
Google Scholar: Berhubungan dengan sebelumnya, Google Scholar akan menjadi wikipedia elu di perguruan tinggi. You will access this site almost every day in uni.
Genesis Library : Adalah perpustakaan terlengkap di jagad internet. Gak usah beli textbook kalau lu gak mampu, download aja di sini.
Side points : Perpusnas punya akses e-book gratis pula, mostly koleksi mereka ada di situ. Appnya bisa dicari di Google Play Store (iOS setau gua belom ada).
Sci-hub : This is the scalpel of academia, the tool of a true mahasiswa. Sometimes lo akan ketemu artikel yang BAGUS, tapi sayang lo harus bayar ke publishernya. Nah, this bypasses that and you can have the PDF for FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Add extensionnya https://github.com/allanino/sci-hub-fy
E-book manager like Calibre (for PC and iOS) and Aldiko (for Android) : Pretty self-explanatory karena most of the time mahasiswa tingkat awal itu gak tau cara manage folder di laptop.
m-Banking app from your bank : Sekarang apa-apa sudah serba digital, belom lagi kalau lo butuh bayar-bayar atau patungan sama temen. Dengan adanya mbanking app, lo udah gak butuh ke ATM. Bahkan, sekarang mbanking bisa bayar ke OVO, Gopay, or Shoppee Pay lewat QRIS.
Go-Jek or Grab (and OVO) : Kemana-mana dan bayar apa-apa lebih gampang.
Kartu emoney, Flazz, Brizzi, dan sejenis : Silahkan beli salah satu dari kartu ini untuk kalian yang harus menggunakan moda transportasi seperti KRL atau Transjakarta. Plus, very handy untuk beli air putih di Indo/Alfamart. Kalau bisa yang satu jenis dengan bank kalian, agar top-up dapat dilakukan secara mudah di ATM atau app mbanking (bagi yang memiliki NFC hpnya)
Cheap OEM earphones : You will have some solace from annoying pieces of shit when you're reading or doing assignments. Browse through any ecommerce site and search for "headset samsung/iphone grosir" and buy 10.
Masker : Well, duh.
Zoom/Skype/Hangouts/Microsoft Teams : Please check on your faculty's specification, sekarang lagi pandemi and I don't think you guys are going back to school any soon.
Powerbank : Trust me, you will forget to charge your phone. One powerbank on the ready will be a life saver, especially during late nights.
OpenOfficeorLibreOffice : I do not condone the piracy of a certain word processing software. Get open-source and just relax. Alternatively, you can go all-out with Google's existing apps inside Drive.
JASP : I also do not condone the piracy of a certain statistics software.
Canva : Untuk anak-anak non-design yang gak bisa design, ditambah gak punya duit untuk hire designer (ya menurut lo), please take time to learn Canva. I would recommend GIMP a few years ago, but Canva has been gold standard of designing for non-designers.
CamScanner : For scanning documents. Available on iOS and Android
Condoms : Just, bring it.
MSDN : Kadang Microsoft kerjasama dengan kampus, check on your faculty.
Tar tambah lagiiiii.......
WAJIB PUNYA UNTUK ANAK.....
Kalkulator scientific : Bisa cari di toko buku atau e-commerce. Get Texas Instrument or Casio.
nanti kali ya
Kopi sachet yang banyak
Penggaris segitiga atau meteran
APA Publication Manual : Sebagai S.Psi gua akan menekankan PENTINGNYA MEMILIKI PDF INI DI SEMUA DEVICE ELU. Pelajarin dan cross-check semua style tulis dengan editorial style APA. Dosen PASTI BAKAL PERIKSA GAYA TULISAN ELU DENGAN APA.
KBBI : Dosen Psikologi paling terkenal dengan penulisan dan artikulasi kata, tolong pelajari bentuk baku kata-kata bahasa kita.
3D Brain : Untuk bantu Psiko Abnormal dan Faal.
Buku KUHP dan KUHPER, e-book or printed.
UU yang berkaitan dengan kelas, e-book or printed.
Printer dengan tinta isi ulang alias nyuntik
CompSci, Teknik Informatika, or Sistem Informatika
Spotify Premium : Check if your school is eligible for student discount! I do not condone using modified APK for Spotify Premium.
Audacity : Boleh lah punya kalau mau coba-coba bikin podcast.
Da Vinci Resolve : Kalian akan sewaktu-waktu dapet tugas buat edit video, either untuk kelas atau organisasi. Ini software open source yang lumayan powerful untuk editing.
SSDs for laptops : This is me speaking from experience, you'll need this if your risk of being in an accident is high. Upgrading to an SSD is 0-1, not only you get great booting and transfer speeds, but your data is almost always protected if amit-amit ketabrak atau laptop kenapa-napa.
Powerstrip : Ini bisa wajib, bisa enggak. Kadang berguna kalau kalian nugas di cafe, tapi kalian gak mati juga kalau gak punya.
Write Monkey : Ini dapat meng-enhance pengalaman kalian menulis, gue menggunakan program ini saat skripsi. Fungsinya cuma satu : Biar nulis lebih enak. Cocok bagi yang jurusannya rajin ngetik. Again, lo gak akan mati kalo gak punya ini.
Eventbrite : Cocok buat yang pengen cari group activities atau seminar gratisan.
TIX.ID : For the time being, jangan ke bioskop dulu. Tapi TIX suka banyak promo buy1get1. Lumayan buat irit duit.
Trello or Asana : Nah, sebenarnya ini wajib untuk orang kantoran (depends industrinya), tapi menurut gua kalau kalian coba aja pelajarin agile project management, mungkin performance group akan lebih naik. Ditambah ini lagi pandemi, nugas akan lebih gampang menurut gua dengan ini. Kakak-kakak yang udah kerja di kantor agile pasti bisa jelasin.
Jobstreet, Kalibrr, JobsDB, Glints : For work opportunities.
Halodoc : Truth be told, this app have saved my life multiple times. I would suggest a healthy diet, but having this on your phone will not hurt one bit.
Pisau lipat Victorinox : Handy untuk yang berencana jadi anak alam atau bocah camping. But basically handy untuk segala situasi, sih.
Aplikasi sekuritas : Bisa mulai belajar, setau gua macem MNC Sekuritas bisa mulai trading dengan Rp100.000.
Discord : Lumayan handy untuk jadi basis chat angkatan. Tapi, mereka lebih cater ke gaming crowd, walaupun fiturnya sebagus Slack Enterprise, tapi entah kenapa susah banget penetrate mainstream user.
To be added later...........
Netflix : Bisa patungan sama temen-temen. I don't suggest buy shady accounts.
Premier League app : Seru loh bikin liga fantasy sama temen-temen.
Ive (31f) been with my bf (32m) for 4 years. Overall I think it is a pretty healthy relationship. We both have the same background (Was with ex for 10 years with 2 kids) He treats me well, and respectable. He makes sure that every birthday is special for me. (3-4 day celebration). He texts me Good morning/ Good night every single day. He always sends me a gift on the holidays, that sort of stuff. He co-signed my apartment for me. He’s generally always there if I have a problem, he helps me solve it. I have no doubt that he loves and cares for me and even has rescued me financially a few times before (I’ve always paid him back and I buy him things as well). He also taught me how to produce my own extra stream of income. I don’t depend on him financially but he easily makes 3-4x more than I do. He works from home. He’s a forex tradesports better which requires a lot of research and generally has always made him unavailable throughout the day/week. Before covid we would get together every other weekend on Saturday to Sunday when we were both free from the kids. Although this has always been our norm and I’ve always had a problem with it but I never thought he was lying about anything and I’m an understanding person so I didn’t want to stress him out. The plan we always talk about is that he’s doing all of this to buy us a house then we’ll get married and move in together. He unequivocally believes it will all go very smoothly and I just need to be patient until it happens. Here Is where it gets tricky ... I always wanted some more normalcy like stay some nights at each other’s house/ talking on the phone at night, building a relationship etc , but we’ve never really had that. We’ve been together 3 years. I’ve never met his mothefamily/kids or anyone from his life besides 1 mutual friend. I’ve never been to his house, he’s never openly shared his address but never necessarily hid it either. He says he feels weird about having me at a place he used to share with another woman (his kids mother) .. His excuse is about meeting his family is that it’s not a big deal for him to bring someone home to his family because they aren’t super close and their opinion is not a huge factor, which I can understand because I’m not super close with my family either. But his mom has been living with him since the covid. He has also had his kids full time (1 or 2 days with their mom a month) due to covid because he has the safer living/school environment for them, so needless to say since covid started, we’ve seen each other maybe 1 time monthly. His excuse now is that he doesn’t want to danger his mom and kids which I understand. His stance is that he is dealing with the cards he was dealt (he has to do home schooling with the kids daily , he has to do his research, he has about 4 business partners who depend on him for forex/betting info, he literally has no time and the time he does have he spends it with me, a few hours a month) My stance is that when we truly want something, we make it happen. I’ve expressed this multiple times but he said it isn’t that easy. & He says that he doesn’t want to force things and would rather everything happens organically, which I too understand . I guess my problem is that I used to be excited about a life with him but overtime I’ve gotten so used to how our relationship is that the time apart doesn’t bother me anymore. I don’t care if we talk on the phone or not. He is easily one of the most attractive people I’ve ever seen, but the not seeing each other doesn’t bother me anymore. Ive never been crazy about sex but that isn’t exciting either. I do love him but Essentially I don’t get excited about us anymore. & I feel like a bad person for it. I’m worried that I’m making a mistake being immature by thinking that way. And I should focus on staying together because we already both talked about it being that way. Is this feeling of being out of love temporary? I have no doubt that he’s a good person, I just don’t if I’m setting my standards too low or if I’m just being spoiled and immature. I don’t know if I’m being a brat about it all or if my feelings are legit. I would love a fresh perspective, I’m very private about my life so I’ve never expressed this out loud before. Edit: Some things I left out. No one was ever married. The side piece thing isn’t logical to me because every time we’ve been away for more than 2 days , his ex sends me a message on fb trying to reach him ‘about where are the kids if he’s with me’ No doubt that his ex is not over the relationship (5 years later) and she keeps the kids with him because she knows it’ll tie his time up. Since he doesn’t work a regular job and is the sole financial provider he can’t say no. She tells him she works 6- 7 days a week at a hospital (guilt tripping him that she has to take care of herself now) so she has no time plus covid dangers, and he has to do it. If he says no, he’s afraid she’s going to move across country with the kids, So he does it.
My girlfriend of 8 years admitted she cheated on me with a close friend (messy)
So, since I'm here I suppose I should give some backstory. This will probably get lengthy so ill put a tl;dr at the bottom. I (M/23) started dating my (ex)girlfriend (We'll call her C; F/23) since sophomore year in high school. We were the textbook "high school sweethearts". Fast forward thru 6 years of good, bad and everything in between; having 2 two kids and dealing with a miscarriage, etc... we essentially were a married couple without the title, and we pretty much operated as such. (ironically enough i was planning on proposing to her the week after d-day..) Now the last year or so me and C had been hanging out with one of my close friends (we'll call him J) and his girlfriend (S); who also have two kids together. Me and J had known each other for years, but hadn't talked much recently so it was cool to catch up; and S and my girlfriend C became friends quickly, as well as our children. At this point we are like family to each other, we went on vacations together, playdates, babysat for each other etc. Now, the past few months before d-day, C started to show telltale signs of cheating (now that I look back).. but due to the fact that she has severe bipolar disorder which she is prescribed medication for (but she did not take it regularly), it was hard for me to fully gauge what was going on; because manic depressive episodes can exhibit wild symptoms that eerily align with cheating behavior (i know, i pick em great right). So I was concerned; but moreso for her mental well being, than for what I was about to discover in the near future. Here's where things get hairy. (D-Day) So I get ready leave the house to do uber eats. I do this part time to pay the bills, I've been learning to trade forex for the last few months so I needed something that could free up time. Anyway, before I leave C asks me for a kiss, I kiss her and the kids and then I head out... No less than 20 minutes after I left, I check my phone and see a string of messages from C, and then I get a call from her. When I answer the phone she's already crying. She tells me that about two months ago her and J fucked. She tells me that J told her I would run off and fuck other girls and meet up with them on some dating app on my phone. None of which is true, for the record. He essentially fed her a bunch of bullshit, and she blindly accepted it as truth. She claims she fucked him to get "revenge" at me for everything I ever "did" (even though as far as infidelity goes, I did nothing). C destroyed our relationship, family, and her friendship with S, all off of hearsay. J helped mastermind it all, and also destroyed our friendship, along with his relationship with S. Worst part is, I was hitting J up the 2 weeks before D-Day to chill, and he wouldn't even respond. Making me look like an even bigger clown. I reacted in pure rage, said some things I probably shouldn't have in the heat of the moment, and then told her to get her shit out of my house. She of course at this point is hysterical and is screaming through tears for me to not leave her, that she wants to save our family, that it only happened once and there was no feelings involved beyond her trying to get back at me. At this point though I just don't know if I can believe it. both C and J disrespected me to the ABSOLUTE highest level, not only me but also S. They orchestrated a whole plan to make it happen and then hid it for 2 months. She did also come to me and admit it on her own. Not that that excuses it AT ALL, but my thinking is, in reality I could've found out in worse ways than her direct admission. I'm so torn here reddit. I love this girl to death, and want nothing more than to save our family. I grew up in a split home and i saw and heard things I shouldn't have, and i remember the depression i went through during that time.. i dont want that for my kids.. BUT I also know that I've NEVER been betrayed like this before in my life, not only by an SO but a friend as well. I'm completely heartbroken, and I've had hurt in the past but I've never felt true heartbreak like I do right now. Im doing my best to avoid contacting her, but we have two kids so it makes it really hard at times.. ive been learning to focus on me, but I have to literally keep my mind preoccupied 110% of the time, or I start to go into the same thought loops about this whole situation :(. Do I give the love of my life a second chance after something like this? For the sake of my family? I know I have zero trust for her, and i understand that if we EVER were to rekindle something in the future, it will be a long time, if ever before the pain goes away. it will not be the same as before, we will be starting from scratch. I just would like advice on if there's anything worth saving or not. If so, what signs should I be looking for thats shes actually invested in making things right? If not, how do i start this healing process and begin to move on from an 8 year investment and a now dysfunctional family? Because I'm so fucking lost right now guys. Thanks for reading all the way to the end, I dropped tears writing this and any advice is appreciated. **UPDATE 9/20 C is out out the house now. Ironically she's already moved into a new apartment. I'm not dumb and I know 9 times out of 10 you don't just find an new apartment in a single day.. maybe my paranoia but probably not honestly. Ive been avoiding contact with her beyond child related things. I tried to contact S, but Ironically her phone was broken in the fight her and J had... she tried to message me on Facebook the night I found out to help her move her daughter dressed into a storage unit, but I was physically weak and couldn't even think of what to say in response at that time. Not that she did anything wrong at all. At this point S has removed herself from Facebook so I'm trying to figure out another way to get ahold of her to try to get extra insight. Will post another update if/when I get more details. C tried to "shit test" me today, and since we're now apart i could see it blind as day. She FaceTimed me, I normally would've ignored but i can see my daughter on the preview so i answer. C claims the kids wanted to talk to me, but they seemed relatively uninterested when I tried. Which no big deal, but its what came next that was so weird. What im talking about is her making a comment on a new vape i just got. How it was "so cool" and she wanted to see me take a drag off it again. This is significant only because I KNOW from being with her for 8 years that it turns her on to see me do smoke tricks. That's just always been her. On top of that, she kept taking the camera off the kids, and trying to talk to me about things that happened in her day indirectly. I kept it brief and told her i was busy before she could drag it on.. WHY IS SHE DOING THIS? This is fucking with my head even more now.. ALSO today I was working on music and I went into my downloads folder and noticed something called "J's App". Its date modified is 8/11. This lines up with the timeline C gave me which made me sick to my stomach. I open it, fully prepared to find some type of cynical cheating app they were using to sneak around on me with... Turns out its an application for some ged boot camp for high-school drop outs. This girl had the NERVE to let this fucking bum use my laptop to apply for this shit?! I now certainly question the length of their relationship and the details behind it. For now, im going to continue with space and avoiding contact but I will be sitting down with C next week to lay everything on the table. Full truths, full openness, adult discussion no kid games. At that point ill either have closure to know the truth (or as much as I can get of it), or know if there's any chance of redemption, which at this point has went from 25% to 5%. Thank you all sooo much for your advice and support during this; Alot of hard pills to swallow right now but its what I need. You guys are foreal a family to me and I will be here to support anyone here, new or old thats ever had to feel the way i feel right now. Tl;dr my girlfriend of 8 years and mother of my 2 kids had an ONS with my friend, who is(was) dating her best friend. Now she wants to work things out
Never traded before - need help understanding if I’m being propositioned a scam or this is just how Forex works
My mother, being concerned for my future wellbeing, as I’m not a successful person by any means, has introduced me to a friend of hers that apparently is a “currency exchange” trader or something. I’m generally a sceptical person so I put off the idea of having a zoom meeting with this person for a few weeks. But today I met him, he was a pleasant older man, apparently about 70 years old. Essentially, he claims that he spent $40,000 ish about 7-8 years ago to be given a proper education in the whole Forex and analysis thing. Makes a decent living himself but as he’s nearing retirement he wants to offer me free tuition to essentially learn the ropes. I don’t, at least yet, see where I am to lose money, unless it’s a really long game scam. But in essence he wants me to go through the entire pips school thing, and if I manage to without finding it too difficult, understanding the basics, and showing that I’m actually up for putting the effort in, he will essentially teach me everything he knows etc, set up in modules. This won’t cost me anything other than my time. Where I get a little confused and, as I’m completely oblivious to all of this, it may just be how these things work. But he said, he’ll show me how to set up a Demo account and over the months learn how to try to make consistent growth on these demo account (I believe he spoke in the 3%+ per month range) And here’s where I don’t know if it gets shady or if it’s ok. . . Once I’m relatively experienced in this, showing consistency on this etc, he says he can offer me access to a hedge fund or something? Where apparently I trade some other organisations money and not my own? Something like $100,000 per fund and I’d be expected to make profits, but never more than a 5% loss in a month or a 10% loss in any one day. Other than that, I would apparently receive 10% of profits from that. Only thing is something to do with a server fee, something like to have access to those funds it’s something like $750 a month that’s deducted from your profit, so I don’t know if it’s a scam or it’s just how the professional world of this works. Either way I’m keen to learn from the modules he’s sending me and so on, just not sure about any part once actual money, whether that be mine or someone else’s, is involved. Any advice would be well received thanks
The Last Time I Write Another One of These Cringey Things (I hope...): Part 2892, The Worst Sequel and Wall of Text, ever
Hiya, folks...! It's another wall of text from some random person who could be doing just about anything else except for this... Who's ready for some paragraphs from some stranger? I know you'd rather be doing anything else, or maybe not haha.. But it does mean a lot if you do take the time to try to attempt to accurately type me... I will DEFINITELY NOT overthink it this time, and take your consideration FULLY to heart, and stop overthinking my MBTI type and live happily ever after! (Hahahahhaha...! ... ...) ... Ok, let's begin!
How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.
I am a freshly 23 year old male that likes to do average Redditor bullcrap. Video games, memes, music, making my finger go up and down endlessly while staring at a glass LED screen with pixels on it while feeling like I've accomplished nothing. Just average stuff, I suppose. I'm not really that interesting tbh... I work at home and I am just "vibing", as the kids say. I have some long term projects planned, but I'm at least trying to rest up from a really shitty 7 years that I've had back to back to back so... Nothing really insightful to write here haha..
Is there a medical diagnosis that impact your mental/comportamental stability somehow?
Likely several... I had a very traumatic childhood that I constantly gaslight myself about like saying things like "it wasn't that bad, people have it worse" and much worse.. I disassociate from reality every 2.5 seconds, can't focus, have terrible insomnia, EXTREMELY low energy, mood swings, brain fog, random body pains 24/7, seventeen billion repressed emotions which don't help out anything else that I'm dealing with, memory problems, and I need caffeine to do the bare minimum of just about anything on most days, but some of that could be average American problems. I've suspected I have some form as Aspergers, and probably A TON of mental illnesses, such as OCD, anxiety, depression, and maybe a personality disorder.
Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?
My upbringing is a very mixed bag overall. I would not say I had a typically "tragic" childhood (there goes me gaslighting myself LOL) because people have DEFINITELY had it worse than me. But I can't sit here and pretend everything I went through was "normal". To attempt to sum it up, I basically was a "gifted" kid who got good grades throughout school and maintained my image of being this perfect kid, but meanwhile in the shadows, I was just slowly dying inside and suffering from a lot of imposter syndrome (amongst other things), which I'd definitely would say is warranted because I was NOT cut out for anything in school and it showed. I basically faked my way through school, got burnt out EARLY but got mega burnt out by senior year, and basically started college with no plan but somehow still managed to graduate (barely) and just kinda end up where I am now. As far as a religious upbringing is concerned, I definitely was heavily influenced by religion, in kind of a negative way (?) Religion and I have a VERY weird relationship. On the one hand, I guess I love my religious friends, the lessons I learned from it, and a lot of what it says, but on the other hand I can not ever be a part of one mostly because of some of the dogmatic thinking and extremely toxic aspects to it that people use to justify hate and violence, and that's not really my type of thing. Also, I used to be really kinda "uppity" or arrogant about my religion, and now I DESPISE seeing the same type of "holier than thou" attitude projected. It kinda irks me on the inside. Looking back, my response to it all was a major polarity shift from one extreme, to the other, and now where I'm at, I can look back at both sides and take the good from both. What do I mean by that? Welllllll... I mentioned earlier how I can't stand the "holier than thou" type, and for a while, that was DEFINITELY me. I was REALLY into it and took it extremely serious. I wouldn't mind being called "lame" or "whack" for having my faith, but looking back, it really made my quality of life kinda worse because I did have those strong beliefs and those off-putting characteristics that ostracized me from my peers and some potentially great experiences. I grew out of this and then became an EXTREME atheist, and for a while, it felt freeing. I felt better, smarter, edgier, and just superior, but looking back, I was just cynical and a total asshole, and arguably worse than the "holier than thou douche persona" that I had growing up. Luckily, my extreme atheism phase kinda fizzled out after some other trauma that happened around the time I became an atheist, and now, I can respect religion and be open to it, the ideas, and the amazing things that come from it while also maintaining my independent thinking but not to the point of being "hur dur be skeptical and point out everything wrong with religion all the time and be an asshole for no reason to religious people", if that makes any sense. As far as my relationship to the structure in my life.. It's kind of a mixed bag. I had a pretty suffocated childhood, and I wasn't allowed certain things, but I guess it wasn't really all that bad in the end, or at least as it could've been. Most of this was just protection from a single parent who just didn't want anything to me and wanted me to be the best I could be in life, and I can respect this and look back on some parts of my structured childhood with fondness. But I most certainly got sick of it all by the time I was almost finished with highschool and in a lot of my college career. I basically used to be Mr. Structured. I had everything organized, I was neat, clean, got everything done at the right time, all the good stuff. But my brain just got tired of maintaining that forever, because I was already pretty much bad at life, but I was forced to just continue faking everything until something happened. So, by the end of high school, I lost all of those characteristics and became extremely sloppy. But I really do blame that on being physically tired. Being as organized as I was was TAXING because of how I overdid it. And now, thinking back, a lot of my structuredness was just on the surface level, and it was me trying to live up to everyone's standards and be just on top of everything, all the time, at a VERY unhealthy level, and that's probably what burnt me out too. I was addicted to the image of being this extremely put together person who has their shit together, while not having absolutely any shit to get together because I was withering away inside faster than fresh cotton candy from the fair melts in your mouth when your mouth is dry. So, basically to sum it all up, I was a really clean cut religious smart "gifted" kid who wasn't really that, at all (AND I still don't know who I am now tbh haha) and I got tired of putting on that image all the time and turned to a dirty neckbeard atheist cynic for a short time, and then balanced out to whatever the fuck I am now because I wear 238234 different masks for each and every occasion, but THAT'S a different story haha.. I look back at both equally cringey and horrible chapters of my life with some scorn for myself and the times, but overall a much more understand a balanced perspective, because I had to go through it all to be me, and I'm just glad I can be here now. I'd say I definitely liked moments from those chapters, but overall, I'm much happier where I'm at now, which is not nearly as anally obsessive at the concept of being structured and not nearly as hyper-faithful to my religion or just a total asshole piece of shit atheist.
What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?
Right now, I'm sorta half employed. I do trade a bit on the Forex markets from signals groups and make enough to help out my family, and buy myself things here and there. I'm only really doing this because I went through a really shitty 7 years and I just need time to myself to kind of figure out, A LOT (clearly, as you can see by reading this HORRIBLE reddit post LOL) and rest. I just like the amount of freedom I have, and the money. I really like the idea of me having money saved and ready for any emergency, or family member or friend. I just need money to help out, stay safe, and to have time for myself to rest and take care of my health, or just pursue all the hobbies I missed out on, and I'm totally fine doing this the rest of my life. I don't really need or want that much in life, and I've always kind of been like this. I just want things to be peaceful and simple, so that my mind can be at ease and to just have free time for myself and a solution for any random chaotic emergency that happens because my mind always thinks of the worst that can happen by catastrophizing literally everything ever in the world. So my "career" is just a means to an end, like I'm sure a lot of people's careers are, unless you happen to have a passion or something, which is also amazing. I do like writing, and I do wanna finish my book. I daydream a lot about it, and sometimes that's much more fun than actually writing it, but I do wanna finish it, but I also want it to be absolutely perfect and plothole free, and much more. I also wanna do YouTube and Twitch, but I feel like I have a lot to do as a person before I can freely be on those sites as a full person/"influencer" (I have so many mixed feelings about having a full time career as an influencer and having my life under that much pressure and scrutiny, BUTTTTT that's a different discussion...), so I might pursue those slowly or just freestyle it for fun. Those were my big dreams as a kid, but growing up, I see that writing a good book is damned hard (worth it, but hard) and being a Youtubesocial media star is a different world entirely, and I don't know how I feel about it. Like, I know I'd never be a Shane Dawson (YIKES) or Cryaotic (EWWWWW) but to even just disappoint one person, or have any sort of fuckup, or.. I don't know where I'm going with this... Basically, everything I suffer from now would only be amplified by having a YouTube career, my people pleasing tendencies, my over obsession with being perfect for others/myself, my workaholic tendencies, my being hard on myself, my fear of fucking anything up, and my imposter syndrome, those would all go BRRRRRR if I got any decent success on YouTube, so... *Phew* That's my weird relationship with my life, and where I wanna go with it. To be honest, I'd be happy where I'm at right now, because at the end of the day, as long as I'm healthy and my family is happy, I'm ok, but a part of me also wants to live out those big dreams like having my book be a thing and animated, and being a good YouTuber, meme maker, Twitch streamer, all the above at the same time but my insecurities are like "BWAHAHAHAHA", so I'm just like: -_- But I'll figure it out! Hopefully..
If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?
Hm... Interesting question. Honestly, I'd never feel lonely on weekends by myself. Even when my friends are doing better things or aren't around, I don't really feel lonely I guess. Most of the time I have weekends alone, I feel pretty refreshed I suppose. It's kinda hard to tell haha.. This feels more like a circumstantial question where a myriad of things that are going on during the hypothetical week or just in my life/mind would determine this answer. Sometimes I just need that weekend to recharge and be alone and in my thoughts, or watching Netflix or being an absolute video game degenerate while dancing alone in my room and eating junk food. And sometimes, I like to be out and about with my friends, or just doing stuff. I probably lean more towards refreshed though, overall in a general sense.
What is your relation with movement and your surroundings? For instance do you prefer a sport or outdoors event? If an outdoors event what is it? And why? If not what type of activities do you tend to engage in?
BIG YIKES. I feel like a non human that doesn't belong on this planet or universe 99% of the time. I'm VERY slow, awkward movements, jittery, sometimes it looks like I was born yesterday with my grasp on physical reality, but yet, I do interestingly enough find myself loving to sweat and workout. I don't really have the coordination for any type of real sport, but I do like walks and I would run if I lived in an area where I could have a private or peaceful run where I would not be interrupted or seen by anyone because I look HIDEOUS running. I won't say I could never get into running at a professional or serious level, like with a group, but I'd just say it's more unlikely, for now. It sounds really exciting and interesting to be good at something physical, and I have always admired people who could do really sick stuff in sports, and I've always wanted to do it. But, right now, my uncoordinated ass will stick to just riding my exercise bike occasionally to burn off some restlessness and help me sleep betteperform better because working out makes my brain feel oddly stable lol. (I guess that's why I have such a fascination with physical stuff even though I am absolutely hopeless in most of it in the grand scheme of things)
How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?
I don't know if I'd say I'm curious, I guess I just think a lot. Like, I'll see something or watch something and daydream about it all the time, making new ideas out of it in my head or creating something new with it, trying to take it a new level or understand it at a different level, if that makes sense. Like, I'll sort of mentally digest something and that's what gives me inspiration, or ideas. I take in everything as I go and make up new shit with it later on (LOL this sounds like regular human being talk, because everyone does this). I would say I have a lot of ideas on everything. I daydream about random chapters in my book a lot, like full on scenes. I'll daydream about a new melody for a song I've never heard with lyrics, and I'll try to make lyrics in my head and extend the melody. I'll daydream about my interactions in life, and just how I could have responded differently, or maybe what the other person is thinking, or feeling, or stuff like I wonder if they're okay. I'll daydream about new memes I can make, or me in an interview (OMG MEGA CRINGE ROFL). I pretty much daydream about... Everything. And then I'll daydream about what I'm daydreaming about, and why I'm doing it, and it gets too meta at that point. (this could very well just be maladaptive daydreaming and NOT indicative of any cognitive function ROFL)
Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
Nope, nuh uh. I am too much of a people pleaser and pushover. I'd be dead or betrayed before my first week is over. The thing about me is that generally, I feel like I'd be a terrible leader because I can overthink a lot, all the time, and I'd be slow to action and prone to analysis paralysis and extreme people pleasing tendencies. I can also be conflict avoidant, and just want people to be happy, so I'd let a lot of stuff slide that I maybe should not. Now, don't get me wrong, I can be firm and tough when needed, but eventually that'd be too much for me to bear, and I couldn't be in a position like that for long. I genuinely hope I never become a leader, because even when I'm looking back to five minutes ago, I can say that "ew, that's cringe bro", so I clearly have a lot of work to do before I have something that serious on my plate.
Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?
HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHA. Funny question. But.. Yeahhhhhhh... No. I am NOT coordinated. I can barely walk in my kitchen without the fear of me accidentally turning wrong or moving incorrectly and just breaking something or knocking over everything in the kitchen. SOMETIMES I'm in James Bond mode, and it feels like I can do anything physical, and I feel aware of everything, my body, my surroundings, and I can actually move like a human being, but that usually doesn't last long. I can do just the bare minimum that an average human can do, but MUCH MUCH worse and at a greater cost of my energy, and my mental energy trying not to fuck anything up because I have literally just been sitting at times and barely move and knock over EVERYTHING somehow, because that's just how much my body was not meant to be on planet earth and I maybe should have been incarnated as a slug, idk.
Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
I'd describe myself as artistic, even if I haven't drawn in years LOL. But let me explain... I do still have a love for it, I just haven't really been able to practice. In general, my art is just aiming for whatever is in my brain, and I don't have a solid style. I'm just going for whatever I'm going for in the moment. I prefer a mix of realism with some "quirks", if that makes sense. While I haven't drawn in a while, this is how I'd imagine I'd want my art to look nowadays. Pretty realistic with perfect everything, perfect features, perfect environment or whatever I'm illustrating or going for (perfect features on a person, all the hair strands drawn individually, etc), with a mix of my own little "spice", if that makes sense. Back in the day, my art was just trying to copy classic anime, and while I have no problem with that style, I just wanna kinda make my own style, even if that is hard to verbalize lmao. Alright guys.. I would write more, but I'm sleepy and some of this is getting dumb/boring (as if it wasn't already LOL). I'm glad you made it this far, and thank you for reading and putting up with this actual garbage fire of a post. Please take care of yourselves during these crazy weird times, and I hope you are doing well. I look forward to reading you guys responses (if I get any LOL). Stay amazing, and stay healthy :3
BE CAREFUL WHICH BROKER YOU CHOOSE! SERIOUSLY, what is YOUR opinion for LONG-TERM INVESTING using EToro VS Trading 212: Invest ? Or even Trading 212 ISA...
Now, I’ve been practicing with Trading 212 (both investing and trading) for years but didn’t start investing money because I was underage. DISCLAIMER: When I was younger, I thought day trading was “the way to go” to make a lot of money (for some people it is... for me it really isn’t). I luckily figured this out before I bought some “day trading guru’s course for ONLY $299”... fucking bargain btw👌🤯 ...not I started actually investing in March, and for whatever reason (can’t remember) I decided to go with EToro... BE WISE ON WHO YOU CHOOSE !
Let’s start with the NUMBER OF STOCKS.
Trading 212: Invest - 3012 stocks available Etoro - 2037 stocks available And the stocks that Etoro doesn’t have aren’t just foreign stocks like ones listed on the foreign stock markets like FSE or LSE. They also have US companies “missing”. This becomes very apparent when you find some “great” companies to invest in for the long term and they aren’t even listed. THIS IS ANOTHER THING - they also dictate who you can invest in. For example, I wanted to invest in Spire Healthcare back in March/April, and even though they have it listed, it won’t allow you buy any shares... STILL TO THIS DAY??? ( if anyone knows why, let me know down below please )
Trading 212: Invest - 446 EToro - 151 - although they do have ones like SPY, VOO and VTI
Trading 212: Invest - Min deposit - EUR 1, USD 1 Deposit fee - none min withdrawal fee - EUR 1, USD 1 Withdrawal fee - no fees Commission - commission free, unless you buy UK stocks, then you pay 0.5% stamp duty reserve tax because... the British Government can do what they want 🤷♂️ EToro - Min deposit - USD 200 - first deposit, afterwards USD 50 ( I never even realised this lol ) Deposit fee: none Min withdrawal amount: USD 30 Withdrawal fee: USD 5
•Trading 212: invest - as little as €1. MOST BUT NOT ALL shares can be bought fractionally as some have a min trade quantity of 1 share. •Etoro - min amount to open ANY POSITION is $50, defeats the purpose of fraction shares ???? 🤔 🚨——> Now there are a COUPLE ISSUES with this... But the main issue is a more PERSONAL ONE. I’m sick of having to think and buy my family things that don’t want or need for birthdays or Christmas... So I buy them a share, of a good company that I think is a good investment. Sometimes I DO NOT want to spend a minimum of $50 😂 Call me cheap lol but I’ve got pilot school to pay for... and it’s EXPENSIVE.
Social Trading -
Now Etoro does have CopyTrading. Personally I’ve never used it because I prefer to have an influence over who I invest in, whether it’s the right choice or not. But for some people, they prefer a more “hands-off” approach, so it is good for them. ANOTHER POSITIVE FOR ETORO - on their app for each company you can chat with other users, and people can post their latest thoughts and research on the company. Trading 212 doesn’t exactly have this but they do have a similar feature which is a forum separate to the app.
I personally prefer the layout of Trading 212, especially when looking into the graphs, or even trying to find out what your ROI is. It’s a much more user-friendly interface, in my opinion. Etoro doesn’t offer the ability to transfer open positions to another broker... which is shit. Trading 212 will be implementing the ability to transfer from/to other broker by the end of 2020 (supposedly). Also, Etoro’s customer service is actually really helpful, with their live chat feature. And doesn’t take too long to connect. ————————— Just to top it off - Trading 212: invest - you can get a free share worth up to £100 So IN MY OPINION I would 100% go with Trading 212 for INVESTING, and that’s why I’m switching I only invest, I DO NOT day trade, use CFDs, swing trade, trade commodities, trade forex or (currently) invest in cryptos This is why, imo, I believe Trading 212 is better than Etoro Let me know what your opinions are! Also let me know if I’ve missed anything
I'm 19 got accepted to one of the best colleges in Sweden but don't believe in the ordinary 9-5 life. Should I drop everything and chase my own career? Help
This story will be quite long but anyways a little back story about me. From the age of 16-19 I went on one of the hardest "high school programmes" and graduated with a scholarship for great achievement. For those of you who don't know our school system is divided by elementary school from the age of 7-16 and High School 16-19 and then lastly college. I've always wanted to break free from the 9-5 system and had a hard drive. I don't want to work an ordinary job to afford going on trips then and then so I've always had a hard drive to hustle. During my second high school year I met my best friend and we started going into E-com business which is essentially online stores. We did not get a lot of sales but we got a wide network. During my third year me and my best friend really exceeded and once sold for 1.8k dollars in one day. But when we we're supposed to do our biggest projects ever corona came and shut a lot of business down. This summer after high school me and my friend went our seperate ways. He started to work and doing side hustles like Forex trading (trading currencies) and he's doing really well now. And it gives me a lot of anxiety because he's succeeding while I'm not. I actually got into forex myself and it went decently but when the summer ended I started college. And I feels like I don't have time for anything other than school. Some school days start at 8.am, ends 5.pm and then another 3-4 hours of studying because it's needed which leaves my school day ending at 9.pm. Since I've started college I've not been happy and It feels like I can't juggle between my side hustles and school. I know that everything is possible but it seems like time is not enough and I don't wanna drop out because it's hard to convince your family to support you chasing a "lost dream". They don't believe in anything than the "work" life. It feels like I owe them to go to college since it's almost a standard in Sweden. I'm ready to drop it all and start my "own" life but are unsure. I love travelling but haven't been able to do that for a couple years since I've been so buried in school and other things. To add a little perspective into the mix I'm the middle child who's gotten everything that I wanted and the "good son" in the family. All of this has made me feel like I owe them to follow the school path. Also any succesfull people who are willing to hire me so I can drop everything and start doing my own thing without attachment? Jokes aside(not really joking) but what are your thoughts? I'm not sure if I got everything written down since I've bascially had a mental breakdown these past days and decided to write this in 5 minutes.
Why is Amazon so much cheaper than the official store? And are there security risks buying from there?
All of these numbers are for Canada and in CAD unless specified. Amazon: $45 Free next day shipping ($59 regular, $14 coupon to support back to school distance learning) Yubico store: $73+ 10 day shipping ($45USD plus $10USD minimum shipping free, plus forex fees) Walmart: $78 Best Buy: $146
How can Amazon sell it for so much less than the direct store? That’s nearly a 40% discount even assuming the minimum shipping price. Without the coupon it is normally a 20%+ discount after shipping.
Is there any risk that the keys are somehow compromised (by Amazon or others)? It is through the official Yubico Amazon seller.
For a lower price and faster shipping it seems too good to be true.
What do you all make of the mainstreaming of the market?
There are so many new investors it’s almost staggering! I know this is known, but the scale of it finally caught up to me. My 22 year old nephew is Forex trading, and he didn’t even finish high school. The SoFi sponsored Cowboys game ran an ad claiming to give away free stock if your team wins....like fucking pizza!! The fully mainstreamed free trades and fractional shares. What in the world is this shit? CashApp has investing. Everybody I know is talking about this thing...as if it’s a brand new toy they just discovered! It reminds me of all those companies trying to buy up our gold before the 08 crash. As if they’re trying to get all the cash before we go to a new and fully digital currency (like the corporate fascist shit that’s been happening in India the past few years). On a more pertinent note, how has this changed your outlook on trading, investing and price targets? I mean if we are all now playing to the least common denominator of the hyped up FOMO and short sighted illogic of the masses, doesn’t this substantially change the game? And the ripple effects will be huge! For example: an already defunct, decontextualized, profit based media system will be pumping out market related garbage for clicks, and this could drastically increase prices (or at least volatility)...as if it already hasn’t. Schwab has a new warning ⚠️ note posted to their site about volatility being the “new normal”. Sure it may just be the recession-like/Covid situation we’re in...OR this could really be the new normal when the markets are completely mainstream. ...and we haven’t even mentioned the Fed...and I’m not going to. I really just feel like the game may be permanently changed. And if you pit Joe Blow against JP Morgan, that spells disaster for even more people. Thoughts?
During this pandemic, so many companies have gone bankrupt, so that many employees have been fired by the company. Entertainment places, shopping places, and even places of worship are temporarily closed. And now, there are more and more unemployed people in this pandemic. Then, how to find the most suitable job in this situation. I will provide a list of jobs that might help you, especially those of you who lost your current job. 1. Freelancers For those of you who want to get a job without having to leave the house, you can try this job. You can become a writer, web designer, product designer, logo creator, and more. You are free to choose a job according to the skills you have. 2. Become a creator on YouTube This job is also very suitable at this time of the pandemic. By making videos, you can make money easily. However, if you want to be paid by YouTube, you have to reach 1000 subscribers and 4000 broadcast hours. It's not difficult if you can make a really interesting video. Make the video as good as possible so that your video is fast monetization. 3. Forex You also make money easily by trading forex. However, before you want to trade in forex, you must know how to know about trading. Because if you don't know the knowledge and procedures first, you will lose and you will not make money. 4. Become a reseller Selling other people's products to get profit from the profit-sharing between the seller and you. You don't need to keep stock of the items you have to sell. You only need social media, you can make money by sharing product links from sellers to your social media accounts. And if later you have friends or relatives who want to buy the products that you have shared, then you will get a commission from the sale of these items. 5. Play games Sometimes games are seen as useless for adults like us. However, who would have thought that games could also make money. By playing games, you can get money easily and quickly. There are many choices of games that you can play, and you can use them as a place to find a passive. 6. Become a Courier Since the COVID 19 pandemic began to spread, everyone who ordered them to stay at home, avoid crowds of people, and even places of worship have been temporarily closed. If everyone is ordered to stay at home, then what about the family's food needs. One solution is to shop at an online store. When everyone uses the online shop, isn't this a great opportunity for a package delivery courier. Very profitable, right? Being a courier in this pandemic situation is a great opportunity for those of you who lose your job. 7. Become a tutor If you know science, math, and other skills, now is a great opportunity for you. Because everyone was ordered to stay at home, all places were closed, even schools were closed. Being a teacher today is a very good business opportunity. Because all students in school all requests to study at home. And a student needs guidance. And this is your opportunity to mentor a student.
Someone posted on here a few days ago asking about forex and forex trading in Kenya, I have gone through the responses and clearly, most people don’t have an idea. It is 3am in the morning and am in a good mood so let me make this post. This will be a comprehensive and lengthy post so grab a pen and paper and sit down. We’ll be here a while. FIRST OF ALL, who am I..? I am a forex trader, in Nairobi, Kenya..i have been actively involved in forex since I found out about it in Feb 2016 when I somehow ended up in a wealth creation seminar (lol) in pride inn Westlands, the one close to Mpaka Rd. Luckily for me, it was not one of those AIM global meetings or I’d be on Facebook selling God knows what those guys sell. I did not take it seriously till August of the same year and I have been active ever since. I don’t teach, mentor or sell a course or signals, I trade my own money. I am also posting from a throwaway account because I don’t want KRA on my ass. What the fuck is forex and forex trading. In simple plain English, forex is like the stock market but for currencies. Stock Market = Shares, forex = currencies. If you want more in-depth explanation, google is your friend. These currencies are pegged on specific countries, united states- dollar, UK- pound, euro zone- euro, Switzerland- Swiss franc, Kenya- Kenya shilling.. you get the point. Now, there are specific events and happenings between these economies that affect the movement and values of the currencies, driving their value (purchasing power up and down). Forex trading exploits these movements to make money. When the value is going up, we buy and vice versa (down –sell) Is forex trading illegal in Kenya? Is it a scam? Illegal, no. scam, no. All the banks in the world do it (KCB made about 4 billion from trading forex in 2019) Have there been scams involving forex in Kenya? Yes. Here is one that happened recently. This one is the most infamous one yet. Best believe that this is not the end of these type of scams because the stupidity, greed and gullibility of human beings is unfathomable. However, by the end of this post, I hope you won’t fall for such silliness. What next how do I make it work..? Am glad you asked. Generally, there are two ways to go about it. One, you teach yourself. This is the equivalent of stealing our dad’s car and hoping that the pedal you hit is the brake and not the accelerator. It is the route I took, it is the most rewarding and a huge ego boost when you finally make it on your own. Typically, this involves scouring the internet for hours upon hours going down rabbit holes, thinking you have made it telling all your friends how you will be a millionaire then losing all your money. Some people do not have the stomach for that. The second route is more practical, structured and smarter. First Learn the basics. There is a free online forex course at www.babypips.com/learn/forex this is merely an introductory course. Basically it is learning the parts of a car before they let you inside the car. Second, start building your strategy. By the time you are done with the babypips, you will have a feel of what the forex market is, what interests you, etc. Tip..Babypips has a lot of garbage. It is good for introductory purposes but not good for much else, pick whatever stick to you or jumps at you the first time. Nonsense like indicators should be ignored. The next step is now the most important. Developing the skill and building your strategy. As a beginner, you want to exhaust your naivety before jumping into the more advanced stuff. Eg can you identify a trend, what is a pair, what is position sizing, what is metatrader 4 and how to operate it, what news is good for a currency, when can I trade, what are the different trading sessions, what is technical analysis, what is market sentiment, what are bullish conditions what is emotion management, how does my psychology affect my trading (more on this later) an I a swing, scalper or day trader etc Mentors and forex courses.. you have probably seen people advertising how they can teach and mentor you on how to trade forex and charging so much money for it. Somehow it seems that these people are focused on the teaching than the trading. Weird, right..? Truth is trading is hard, teaching not quite. A common saying in the industry is “Those who can’t trade, teach” you want to avoid all these gurus on Facebook and Instagram, some are legit but most are not. Sifting the wheat from the chaff is hard but I did that for you. The info is available online on YouTube, telegram channels etc. am not saying not to spend money on a course, if you find a mentor whose style resonates with you and the course is reasonably priced, please, go ahead and buy..it will cut your learning curve in half. People are different. What worked for me might not work for you. Here are some nice YouTube channels to watch. These guys are legit..
After a short period of time, you will be able to sniff out bs teachers with relative ease. You will also discover some of your own and expand the list. Two tips, start with the oldest videos first and whichever of these resonates with you, stick with till the wheels fall off. How long will it take until things start making sense Give yourself time to grow and learn. This is all new to you and you are allowed to make mistakes, to fail and discover yourself. Realistically, depending on the effort you put in, you will not start seeing results until after 6 months. Could take longeshorter so there is no guarantee. Social media, Mentality, Psychology and Books Online, forex trading might not have the best reputation online because it takes hard work and scammers and gurus give it a bad name. However, try to not get sucked into the Instagram trader lifestyle as it is nowhere close to what the reality is. You will not make millions tomorrow or the day after, you might never even make it in this market. But that is the reality of life. Nothing is promised, nothing is guaranteed. Your mentality, beliefs and ego will be challenged in this market. You will learn things that will make you blood boil, you will ask yourself daily, how is this possible, why don’t they teach this in school..bla bla bla..it will be hard but growth is painful, if it wasn’t we’d all be billionaires. Take a break, take a walk, drink a glass of whatever you like or roll one..detox. Chill with your girl (or man) Gradually you will develop mental toughness that will set you up for life. Personally, I sorta ditched religion and picked up stoicism. Whatever works for you. Psychology, this is unfortunately one of the most neglected aspects of your personal development in this journey. Do you believe in yourself? Can you stand by your convictions when everyone is against you? Can you get up every day uncertain of the future? There will be moments where you will question yourself, am I even doing the right thing? the right way? It is normal and essential for your growth. People who played competitive sports have a natural advantage here. Remember the game is first won in your head then on the pitch. Books: ironically, books that helped me the most were the mindset books, Think and grow rich, trading for a living, 4 hour work week, the monk who sold his Ferrari..just google mindset and psychology books, most trading books are garbage. Watch and listen to people who have made it in the investing business. Ray Dalio, warren, Bill Ackman and Carl Icahn. This is turning out to be lengthier than I anticipated so I’ll try to be brief for the remaining parts. Brokers You will need to open up an account with a broker. Get a broker who is regulated. Australian ones (IC Market and Pepperstone) are both legit, reliable and regulated. Do your research. I’d avoid local ones because I’ve heard stories of wide spreads and liquidity problems. International brokers have never failed me. There are plenty brokers, there is no one size fits all recommendation. If it ain’t broke..don’t fix it. Money transfer. All brokers accept wire transfers, you might need to call your bank to authorize that, avoid Equity bank. Stanchart and Stanbic are alright. Large withdrawals $10k+ you will have to call them prior. Get Skrill and Neteller if you don’t like banks like me, set up a Bitcoin wallet for faster withdrawals, (Payoneer and Paypal are accepted by some brokers, just check with them.) How much money can I make..? I hate this question because people have perceived ceilings of income in their minds, eg 1 million ksh is too much to make per month or 10,000ksh is too little. Instead, work backwards. What % return did I make this month/ on this trade. Safaricom made 19.5% last year, if you make 20% you have outperformed them. If you reach of consistency where you can make x% per month on whatever money you have, then there are no limits to how much you can make. How much money do I need to start with..? Zero. You have all the resources above, go forth. There are brokers who provide free bonuses and withdraw-able profits. However, to make a fulltime income you will need some serious cash. Generally, 50,000 kes. You can start lower or higher but if you need say 20k to live comfortably and that is a 10% return per month, then you can do the math on how big your account should be. Of course things like compound interest come into play but that is dependent on your skill level. I have seen people do spectacular things with very little funds. Taxes..? Talk to a lawyer or an accountant. I am neither. Family? Friends? Unfortunately, people will not understand why you spend hundreds of hours watching strangers on the internet so it is best to keep it from them. Eventually you will make it work and they will come to your corner talking about how they always knew you’d make it. The journey will be lonely, make some trading buddies along the way. You’d be surprised at how easy it is when people are united by their circumstances (and stupidity) I have guys who are my bros from South Africa and Lebanon who I have never met but we came up together and are now homies. Join forums, ask questions and grow. That is the only way to learn. Ideally, a group of 5-10 friends committed to learning and growth is the best model. Pushing each other to grow and discovering together. Forex is real and you can do amazing things with it. It is not a get rich quick scheme. If you want a quick guaranteed income, get a job. And now it is 5am, fuck. This is oversimplified and leaves out many many aspects. Happy to answer any questions.
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